Woke up from a dream that I actually remembered some of. It was a waitress dream. But a little bit different from the reoccurring nightmares I usually have. But let me back up here.

Throughout my twenties, for a span of about 10 years, I waited tables to earn a living – full-time after I dropped out of college and part time when I returned to finish, then for several years after to either supplement my advertising income or for fun. Yes fun. I always enjoyed the restaurant business. There was something about going into a festive atmosphere full of people enjoying good food and wine to “work” that made work less depressing. It also appealed to my love of putting on a show – each night was like a performance and you never knew what would happen. Would I make $150? Would I have the table from hell? You never knew. There was always lots of drama each evening. The restaurant business also let me travel and gave me an instant social life, because there were always people ready to party after the shift was done.

When I started waiting tables I was a horrible waitress. I mean horrible. But over the years I got to be pretty good. Where I could take 20+ orders at a large table and not write anything down. Where I could cut everyone else and do laps around the restaurant to make a bundle. I loved the quick pace and sharp mind work it took to waitress. Yet, no matter how good you got, you still had those times that we used to call “in the weeds.” Basically when you’re in the weeds, you’re in over your head and you’re struggling to catch up.

Years later, after I no longer even waited tables, I would have these “in the weeds” nightmares where I’m waiting tables and everything goes wrong – I can’t find the buttons on the computer to punch in the order; I can’t get to the tables fast enough; I forget the lady’s hot tea in the Garden Room; etc. As I figure it, these dreams are like post-traumatic stress dreams. I’m reliving them now as I’m experiencing advertising stress. (An interesting side note: after years of waiting tables I got so adept in my timing that I knew exactly when the chef would place my food in the window for pick-up and I would arrive just as he was putting up my order. Later, in advertising, my timing also became exact: after writing so many 60-second radio scripts, I could draft one and time it out and it would be an exact 60.)

So last night I woke up from a waitress dream but it was different. I was in a back room where there was a bar. It was a complete mess. I was cleaning it from end to end. There was a bartender and other servers around but the place was chaotic and no one else seemed to know that there was this very big obvious mess to clean up – and how could you serve customers in this mess? I was also sweeping and had several piles that needed to be swept into the dustpan and put away but customers were coming into the back – the restaurant was filling up. One lady was upset that she was not able to sit outside where she wanted to and was going to leave but I stopped her. “That’s ridiculous, of course you can sit where you want. Come with me and we’ll get this straightened out,” I told her and she followed me to the hostess stand.

That’s all I really remember of the dream. But after thinking about it a moment I realized. I wasn’t a waitress in this dream. I was a manager. I was still dealing with stress and being in the weeds, but in a different way. I thought about how I was cleaning the bar and making good progress. And even though there was still piles to be swept up, I was making progress. Then, when a customer had a problem, I was going to solve it.

What I hope this means is that I have made a good choice to leave my last ad position (that was like all the others before it: very stressful and not having much power to make it any better) and am taking control of my career. I’m hoping there is a path out there for me that is better. First, sailing trip. Then, figure out what in the hell to do with the rest of my life – for both leisure and work. Because money will need to be made somehow.